Happy Easter!

There in the ground his body lay,

Light of the world by darkness slain:

Then bursting forth in glorious day

Up from the grave he rose again!

And as he stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me,

For I am his and he is mine -

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

from In Christ Alone by Stuart Townend & Richard Getty

Happy Easter! I hope everyone has a wonderful day with friends and family celebrating the life we have through Jesus' resurrection. I can't believe how grownup my Riggy looks today in his Easter best, such a big change from last year. 

choose joy

The sun has been shining here for weeks and yet I can't seem to shake this hazy cloud of melancholy that seems to have settled over me. I can see the promise of spring, and yet it's still frosty and cold in the mornings. My pregnancy is going by almost too fast, and yet June seems so distant and unattainable. I feel like I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting, for so many things, and it's bringing me down.

I've posted before about looking ahead to the future too much and forgetting to appreciate each day as I live it, but it seems to be a pattern that I fall so easily into. This morning I thought I'd share some inspiring words that help me stop worrying/wanting, start giving thanks, and make a conscious choice to choose joy each day. ♥  

this is the good life

Summer is almost over, and we have been feeling that pull to get out and enjoy the last of it. Our outings are always so much more fun when Steve is home to come along with us. We went down to Jim Creek again this weekend, and enjoyed the warm evening together walking by the river. 

Riggs loves exploring the shores of the river and spent much of the time this trip sitting in the dirt, tracing and scratching it with his fingers, stopping sometimes to inspect the dirt under his nails and to brush the mud off his palms. I just stood there and watched him, so entranced by his curious wonder. I felt so blessed and humbled to be there in that moment, with the mountains and glacier in the distance and that beautiful boy there in front of me and the time to stop and soak it all up.

As I stood there surrounded by my two loves and the beauty of God's creation, these words kept running through my head: "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." [Epicurus]

I have a husband who is also my best friend and a beautiful child who has infinitely brightened my world. Sometimes I need to spell that out for myself to realize how rich I truly am. I must be clear here, being married and having children are not things that we should focus our entire lives on accomplishing, they are not the things that should bring complete fulfillment and meaning to our lives. That's not the point of this post.

But I remember daydreaming for hours about the someday in my future that I would be married, and then have children. How so very far off those days seemed. Now here I am, in seemingly the blink of an eye, living the life I dreamed about so very much. And yet, how often do I remember to be thankful for these things I prayed so hard for? How often do I stop and just soak up how lovely my life is? Getting caught up in the hard moments is much more common and much more easy. By the end of the day I'm tired, worn out, and sometimes worn down. And yet still, I have so much. And I thank God for the blessings he has given me. And I am striving to give thanks much more regularly, to stop thinking and planning and worrying and just really live in the moment as it's happening.

sunny summer days in Palmer

The weather here has just been unreal for the last couple of weeks. This week it was in the eighties nearly every single day, which is just not normal for Alaska. We've been loving it! I wish the mosquitos weren't so bad at our house so that we could be outside in our own yard. Instead, we've been going into Palmer nearly everyday to enjoy the little breeze and the nearly bug-free atmosphere. Luckily there's lots to do downtown, all within walking distance. I love being able to park the truck and walk wherever we want to go.

Friday Fling Fun!

Every Friday Palmer hosts an outdoor market with food, homemade goodies, and lots of activities and music called the Friday Flings. Last week I met up with Sarah, her mom and her MIL and we walked around and enjoyed the hot, sunny day together with our babies. Then since Steve was working late we went over for dinner at Sarah's parents house. It was lovely!

Since the summer reading program started Riggs and I have made it a habit to go to the Library first thing on Monday mornings. We used to go on Tuesday mornings for baby lapsit, but I have a ladies Bible study this summer that meets at that time so we'll have to wait for fall to go to lapsit again (and then Riggs will be in the toddler class...excuse me while I wipe away my tears!!). We log the books we read for the summer reading program from the past week, then we pick out some new books to check out. After we're done there we almost always go and play at the park next door. It's a memorial for the original colonists that settled the Palmer area as part of President Roosevelt's 'New Deal' - you can read all about it here. Riggs loves to walk around in circles and look up at the flags, pointing to each one each time he makes a lap around them.

I just love living in a community that feels so small and close-knit yet has lots of places for us to go and learn and enjoy the sunny summer days. Do you have favorite places to take your kids to enjoy the summer days?

guilty pleasures during naptime

I don't know what you do during your child's naptime, but apparently I sneak into the kitchen and make French Toast to eat in peace and quiet without having to share a single bite. Horribly selfish I know, but so incredibly good.

I made a little mini-batch out of some crusty sourdough bread that we had and I slowly cut each piece up and savored every single bite. It was such a treat and something I'm sure I'll be doing again soon in the near future.

I did save a piece for Riggs to eat when he woke up from his nap, and he stuffed it in his mouth as fast as he could. On a completely different subject, he finally has enough hair that it looks so crazy when he wakes up in the morning or from nap time. It's so funny, we just love it.

Yesterday we played out in the sun, and I'm looking forward to more time outside today and the rest of the week. My heart is weighed down a bit by the devastation and loss of life in Oklahoma after the storms rolled through earlier this week. Sometimes it's so hard to sit in the sun and the peace, watching my baby play happily while knowing others are suffering so greatly somewhere else in the country.

It's also made me think of all the people that are suffering all around the world on a daily basis. I've been praying specifically for those affected by the storms in the Midwest, but I've also committed time each day to pray for all who are suffering throughout the world. And at those times during the day that I just feel so happy and blessed to be where I am with the people I love, I say an extra prayer then too for those who are struggling.

forfeited peace & needless pain

Yesterday, I sat in Riggs room and just watched him as he happily looked at book after book. He was sitting on top of a pile of toys he had taken from the baskets, played with for a bit, and discarded to play with the next interesting thing. We had such a great day, you would never have know what had happened the night before. Thanks to some really encouraging comments and insights from some friends and family (thank you all so much, you have no idea what a blessing your words were!), and some much needed time in prayer, my heart and mind were back where they needed to be as a mama.

I recently purchased an extensive collection of kids praise songs from iTunes (such a great deal if you're looking for something similar, only $9.99 for 100 songs) and they were playing in the background while Riggs played. Song after song brought back great memories for me from my own childhood, and I'm happy to be able to share them with my own little Riggy.

One song came on that I have always loved to sing in Church, What a Friend We Have in Jesus. It's such a familiar song to me that I was just sort of zoning out, until these lyrics just jumped out at me and completely caught my attention:

I've probably heard this song at least one thousand times in my life, and I know the lyrics by heart. But I never fully grasped the true meaning of the words until yesterday, in Riggs room, as I was watching him play.

I worry about so many things, wasting time and emotional energy, when I should be trusting in God. I share my worries with Steve and family and friends, dwelling on issues big and small, when I should be sharing them with God first and giving each worry up to him. How much peace have I given up? Unfortunately I'm pretty sure the answer is a lot.

How many times have I suffered through needless pain by letting an issue weigh heavily on my heart for hours, days and sometimes even weeks without remember to pray about it every day and give it up to God?

I felt so convicted as I listened to words of the song, and it's been in the back of my mind constantly since then. Even the smallest worries (and of course the biggest) are important to bring to God, he should be our source of peace and comfort, and we should be taking our problems to him, before anyone else, including our spouses, family and best-friends.

Do you have a favorite verse that reminds you not to worry and to instead trust in God? These are two of my favorites:

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world" John 16:33

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7

an emotional day

I haven't gotten much sleep over the last two weeks. The worst thing is, there's not any real reason that I haven't been getting sleep. I just can't sleep, it's so frustrating! Either I can't fall asleep or I when I wake up in the middle of the night I can't go back to sleep. Last night Steve was so sweet and rubbed my neck and back to help me fall asleep, and I slept so well for about six hours. It was the longest stretch of sleep I've gotten in at least two weeks, and it felt so good!

I felt amazing when I woke up, and got dressed up and even had my hair curled and some make-up on before Riggs woke up (that is a true miracle). I had to run a few errands in town, so I decided to eat breakfast with Riggs at Turkey Red in Palmer. It was fun to have a date with my little man, and we were the only ones sitting down to eat so it was really quiet and relaxing.

It was a great way to start the day, but I was nearly worn out by the time we got home. I got on my computer to look for a recipe, and to check our local news. I was devastated by what I found there. Early Sunday morning an Alaska State Trooper Rescue Helicopter went down after picking up an injured snowmobiler near Talkeetna, Alaska. I had heard about the crash Sunday evening, but they hadn't released the names yet.

Today I found out that the pilot of the helicopter was Mel Nading, a man whose daughters I went to school with from kindergarten all the way through high school. I can't imagine what they are going through, and my heart is just hurting so badly for them. I remember Mel from elementary school mostly, when he was always so friendly and involved in his daughters lives. His had three daughters, each the same age as me and my sisters, and as a result we've all been sort of inter-connected for as long as I can remember. I haven't seen any of them (in person) in years, but I follow Nichole's blog regularly and I know they are a very close family. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as they go through this hard time!

I had to get outside and go on a walk in the sunshine to clear my head. It was a pretty emotional day, with lots of highs and lows, and I just feel so tired. When I was putting Riggs to bed this evening, I couldn't keep the tears from flowing as I thought of the families of those killed in the helicopter crash yesterday. And I just prayed and prayed that Riggs won't lose his daddy too early. Steve's job is such a big part of our lives and I'm so proud of him and how hard he works, but it can be very dangerous. I try not to think about that too much, but it's at times like these that the statistics do start to creep into my mind.

pictures Steve texted me from work today

On my walk today by the river I just let the sunshine soak into my soul and warm me all the way through. There was so much beauty all around me that it was hard to remember all the ugly things that happen in this world, that there are so many people hurting very deeply. I'm so glad to have a heavenly Father that loves me and comforts me even when I'm at my lowest.

'God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble'

 Psalm 46:1