I closed my eyes and wished I had some help so that he could play outside while I finished chores inside. I felt guilty that we hadn't gotten outside yet. I felt guilty that I didn't have everything done. I felt guilty that I was feeling so grumpy and was being short with him while trying to get everything done. And then the baby started crying, needing me too.
At that moment, I knew it wasn't the chores I needed to be doing. I needed to get outside. I needed to get outside. I opened the front door, "Everybody outside!" I said, and both Riggs and Tutka ran excitedly down the stairs and into the yard. I nursed Raina while I watched Riggs play, and then laid her down to nap in the sunshine. I breathed deeply of the fragrant summer air, feeling my shoulders drop and some of the tension leaving my neck. I leaned my head back against the railing and just soaked it in.
I listened to the gentle gusts of wind as they came closer and closer, the ebb and flow of rustling leaves so soothing. I heard the chimes hanging from the porch above me as they rang against each other merrily with the breeze. The birds sang as they flew to and from the feeder and the flapping of their tiny wings so close to me as they hovered here and there brought a smile not only to my face but to my soul.
Riggs came up to the porch and sat cross-legged with me and then when we saw a trail of ants marching by us we watched them intently for over fifteen minutes. The clouds kept on floating by overhead, and I thought of a quote I've read over and over:
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
Lao Tzu
