Thursday, August 29, 2013

milestones can be painful

Today Riggs hit a milestone. 
It was one that I have not been looking forward to.
And it just came out of nowhere. 

He threw a huge fit in the middle of a store.
A screaming/growling/flailing fit.
I don't even know what started it.
One minute he was happily 'helping' me push the cart.
The next, he started crying.

I tried to make it better, asking him to tell me what he needed.
I picked him up, and he screamed louder.
I put him down, and he yelled and rolled around and hit the ground.

I tried again to ask him what was wrong.
Finally I realized that the answer was pretty obvious.
He needed to cry and scream and flail so that I'd realize that he needed to go home.
He was sick, tired and his teeth hurt, and the store was clearly too much for him.

Needless to say, there were lots of people staring at us.
Including a few who came from other aisles to see what the commotions was.
He sounded like he was dying.
But the thing is, I wasn't embarrassed. 
I wasn't going to change how I dealt with the situation to make
all the people in the store happy. 
I didn't care what they thought.

And it felt good not to care.
Too many times I worry about what people with think about my parenting decisions.
It's idle worry, because I know I'm doing a good job.
God put me in this role because he knew I would be the best mother for my child.
He guides me to parent Riggs the best way I see fit (and Steve too, of course).

I'm not perfect.
I'm always going to make mistakes and regret some decisions.
But I try so hard to do my best based on the information I have.
And I love my son so deeply.

It was a very hard day. Even when we got home the crying and tantrums didn't stop.
Poor baby couldn't go to sleep for his nap on his own, even though he was
so very tired. I rocked him and rubbed his sore gums and he finally drifted off.
He needed his mama today.

 I wish so badly that I could take on his pain,
that I could be sick for him,
that I could make teething not hurt, somehow.

But all I can do is comfort him through his suffering.
I'm so glad God gave me a perfect example of how to love.
And how to be there for someone through their suffering.

And every day, many times a day, I pray for him to lend me his strength.
To not lose my patience.
To speak kindly.
To love selflessly.

Luckily it's very easy to love this guy:

I hope you feel better tomorrow my sweet boy.
Mama loves you more than you'll ever know...


  1. You are a wonderful mother! I also really love the last pic - sweet buns :)

  2. " But the thing is, I wasn't embarrassed.
    I wasn't going to change how I dealt with the situation to make
    all the people in the store happy.
    I didn't care what they thought.

    And it felt good not to care.
    Too many times I worry about what people with think about my parenting decisions."

    The people in the store who might have wanted you to change how things were going? They are not your child's parent. You are. And you care about him more than anyone else (except Steve, too.) And you should always be proud and amazed at the fact that you are sharing your life with this little man, and you ARE doing a wonderful job. Clearly evidenced by boots and bare bum - what an awesome shot, btw.
    I hope he feels better soon. I promise, it passes. Sometimes it feels like it takes forever for this "phase" to pass, but it does. And you will do the best you can, and it will be good enough.

  3. Darling last photo. :) Rough day, mama! My little guy screamed for 45 minutes on the ferry to Victoria last weekend. It was the first time it had ever happened...I just went into mama mode and ignored all the people around me. Good for you!

  4. Its when they do that boneless slither to the ground that you feel utterly helpless. My sons first tantrum hit the hardest as we were crossing a busy road in town.

    Have you ever read about amber teething necklaces? Leo's (my sons) was an absolute God-send. He suffered pretty badly and was a world champion drooler.. Within a week of having the necklace on it all turned around and the most he ever needed for teething after that was a little frozen pineapple in his teething mesh bag.

    I have already ordered one for my baby girl for when we come to that milestone.

    Love love love the bare butt. What a little cutie.


  5. I'm kind of convinced that the terrible twos that everyone talks about has a lot to do with teething. Evie has been throwing the worst fits lately too (like I'm stunned and just freeze when it happens in public - I have no idea what to do because she's never acted like this at all) and she's been cutting her incisors. It sounds like you did a really great job handling it. though. I hope he starts to feel better and gets back to his old, happy self soon. ;)

  6. This is probably one of my favorite posts! You are doing a great job and I'm so happy for you that you didn't care!! There is nothing more Alaskan than that last photo! :)