writer's block

I find it so frustrating that when I have nothing going on in my life, there seems to be endless things to blog about. But when I have many exciting things going on at once, blogging becomes difficult. I guess I'll just start with a note about the weather. At first when the mercury hit 40, I was excited. I love that feeling that I get first in February, that spring is coming. But then it just gets icier and icier and wet and sloppy and muddy and I get over the excitement for forty degree weather and begin to loathe it. The fall count is up to 3: twice at school tomorrow, and once today on the way in my house. But the snow is melting very fast, which means that when real spring comes, there will be that much when it melts completely.

Today in my Pilates class, I realized how much I have improved in the 6 weeks since the class started. My instructor, Sunday, is so soothing to listen to, and does a really good job of watching each student to make sure we're doing the exercise right, physically adjusting us if we aren't. I can't believe how much I love Pilates. Although I'll be excited not to have to wait around for the class to start at 2:30 Tuesday's and Thursday's, I'm really going to miss the class. The class is held at Studio One Pilates and they offer other classes not through UAA, so I might see if there's one that fits into my schedule a little better. Otherwise, I'm going to buy the equipment that I've worked with so far and do the exercises and mat work at home. I love how strong I feel after each class, and how much my posture and overall movement has improved since the beginning of the class. For anyone who has thought about taking a Pilates class, I definitely recommend it.

Steve and I went to see Avatar last night at Century theater, and we loved it. Pandora was a beautiful planet and really displays the depths of James Cameron's imagination. We watched it in 3D, which really added to the movie, especially once Jake Sully arrived on Pandora; it was like we could have stepped into the movie, like the stalks of the various plants and the branches of the huge trees were extending into the theater. We had heard so much about this movie, and it's always nice when a movie lives up to its hype. I'm happy to say that Avatar even surpassed the hype for me, I thought it was more like an experience, like being on a ride in Disney World, than like watching a movie.

This semester I registered for Geology 111/L, which is Physical Geology with a lab, and I can't believe how much I love the class. Our teacher, Terry Nauman, is an amazing teacher, and the things we are learning about our earth are so significant and they make sense. I never really thought that rocks, volcanoes, sand dunes, ect. could be so interesting to learn about!

Just a quick note...

I just had to share...my version of the stuffed shells on my friends blog turned out amazing and were a huge hit at my house. Thought I'd post a pic and say thanks to Easy Food From Us to You for another great recipe!

Men...

In the middle of working on my annotated bibliography for HIST 478, I came across a history forum on Amazon.com. The original question that started the forum was written by an older man. He asked, "Why don't women look like women anymore?" He was referring to why women dress more "slobby" and don't take the time to look nice. Many people responded in many different ways, some disagreed strongly, some took offense, some agreed, and some partially agreed, but thought that this tenancy towards "slobbyness" applied to both women and men in contemporary culture. One forum member posted the following article, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although I didn't agree with everything the author said, I believe that the topic needs to be addressed by the American public due to its status as a growing problem in this country. Hope you all enjoy!

Is America Still Making Men?
By Dennis Prager

Every society has to answer a few basic questions in order to succeed and even in order to survive. One of them is, "How do we make good men?"
The reason for the importance of this question is simple: Males untutored about how to control their natures will likely do much harm. Conversely, males who are taught to how to control themselves and to channel their drives in positive directions make the world a much better place. The good man is a glory of civilization; the bad man ruins it.
Throughout American history, American society asked, "How do we make men?" (It was understood that "man" meant a good man.) Anyone who thought about the subject knew that boys who are not transformed into men remain boys. And when too many boys do not grow up into men, women suffer and society suffers.
What is a man (as opposed to a boy)? The traditional understanding was that a man is he who takes responsibility for others - for his family, his community and his country - and, of course, for himself. A man stood for ideals and values higher than himself. He conducted himself with dignity. And he was strong.
For much of American history, making boys into men was understood to be of supreme importance, and society was usually successful. When I was a boy in the 1950s, without anyone expressly defining it, I knew what a man was supposed to be. And I knew that society, not to mention my parents, expected me to be one. It went without explicitly saying so that I would have to make a living, support myself as soon as possible and support a family thereafter.
When I acted immaturely, I was told to be or act like a man. I wonder how many boys are told to "be a man" today; and if they were, would they have a clue as to what that meant? It would appear that for millions of American boys, this has not been the reality for decades. Many families and society as a whole seem to have forgotten boys need to be made into men.
There are numerous reasons:
1. The distinction between men and boys has been largely obliterated. The older males that many American boys encounter are essentially older boys, not men. They speak, dress, and act similarly (think of men who "high-five" young boys instead of shaking their hands). And they are almost all called by their first names. Even when a boy (or girl) addresses an adult male as "Mr.," many men will correct the young boy or girl - "Call me" and then give the young person his first name. This is often true even with regard to teachers, physicians and members of the clergy. When a young person calls an adult by his first name, the status of the two individuals has been essentially equated. Boys need men to respect. It's not impossible to do so when they call men by their first names, but it makes it much harder.
2. Boys today have fewer adult men in their lives than ever before. Many boys are not raised by any father. More are not raised by a father who lives in the home full time. Nearly every teacher and principal American boys have in elementary and high school is a female. The boy's clergy person and physician may well be women. And few male figures in contemporary film radiate manhood as defined above.
3. The ideals of masculinity and femininity have been largely rendered extinct. Feminism, arguably the most influential American movement of the 20th century, declared war on the concepts of femininity and masculinity. And for much of the population, it was victorious. Indeed, thanks to the feminist teaching that male and female human beings are essentially the same (note, incidentally, that no one argues that male and female animals are the same, only human beings are), untold numbers of boys have been raised as if they were like girls. They were denied masculine toys such as play guns and toy soldiers, and their male forms of play - e.g., roughhousing - were banned.
4. America has become a rights-centered rather than a responsibility-centered society. Aside from helping to produce a pandemic of narcissism, the rights-centered mindset is the opposite of the obligation/responsibility-centered mindset that makes a boy into a man. It is not good for either sex to be rights-preoccupied; but it is particularly devastating to developing men, as men are supposed to be obligation-directed. The baby boomer generation helped destroy manhood in most of the ways described here. One additional example was its widespread slogan, "Make love, not war." One cannot come up with a more unmanly piece of advice: "Don't fight for your country, screw girls." If the greatest generation had adopted that motto, Hitler and Tojo would have won. A few years ago, the city of Chicago named a street after Hugh Hefner, a man who has played games much of the day and night, lived in pajamas and devoted his life to sex - quite a model of manhood for American boys.
5. There are few places where men can bond with other men. One major way men become men is by associating with other good men. The only places left where this normally takes place are sports teams and the military. The same holds true for boys. And much of society is now working on breaking the most significant all-boys institution, the Boy Scouts.
6. Males no longer have distinctive roles. Men do best when they are relied upon, when needed; and they feel most needed when they do something distinct from women. This exists today in sports and the military. It is symbolic - significantly so - that there are no more "men at work" signs on highways. Now "people" are at work. "Men" have disappeared.
7. Many churches and synagogues have been feminized. This has occurred in at least three important ways: Clergy are increasingly female (and touchy-feely males) - for the first time in Christian and Jewish history; G0d is often depicted as androgynous and no longer either demanding or judging (He just loves all the time); and religion has been changed from morally and theologically demanding to a therapeutic model. So religion, too, has become yet another place where boys encounter few men, and few masculine models (even in G0d, as noted, is no longer masculine).
8. Instead of the traditional American model of masculinity, which was a rare combination of masculine toughness and stoicism with doing good (e.g., Superman), boys are now taught to be preoccupied with their feelings and with (unearned) self-esteem. They are not even allowed to lose; all boys playing a sport are given trophies, not just winners.
9. Increasingly, marriage is regarded as optional. The most obvious expression of men assuming responsibility - marrying a woman and taking care of her and their children - is no longer a male ideal. Vast numbers of men quite openly admit to having problems with the C-word (commitment) and responsibility of being a family's sole breadwinner.
When boys do not become men, women assume their roles. But they are not happy doing so. There are any number of reasons American women suffer from depression more than ever before and more than men. It is difficult to believe that one of those reasons is not the very emasculation of men that the movement working in their name helped to bring about. And so, a vicious cycle has commenced - men stop being men; women become man-like; men retreat even further from their manly role; and women get sadder.

Tiresome Tuesday...

Well I really shouldn't complain, I've actually managed to get almost everything done today that I wanted to. Invisalign appointment, Value Village, Costco, dog food made...

...it doesn't look the most appetizing, I know, but it's full of all the goodies my babies need! Poor Pepper is getting old, we have to pamper her. Also made some sugar cookies, did dishes and finished laundry, hopefully I'll get to some homework after I finish this post. But this cold that Steve and I have is extremely annoying...sneezing, runny nose, watery eyes...boo. I just want to feel normal! Throat Coat with a little honey is really the best thing when you're sick, Steven and I have been greedily drinking it down every evening.

Tonight I'm making a recipe from a friends food blog, Stuffed Shells and Sauce, and I can't wait to see how it turns out! It's nice when you decide you want to cook something new and after looking at the recipe realize that you have 98% of the ingredients already on your shelf! All we had to grab were the shells, so Steve and I picked them up last night along with some salad makings and ice cream at New Sagaya's last night.

I did manage to find some goodies at VV and I can look foreword to finding more on Monday, when they have their 50% off everything sale. With everything 50% off, you really can't go wrong! Here are a few of the prizes I've found in the last couple of visits...

A day in my life!

My favorite place to walk on campus...
heading into my enchanted forest...
one of the items essential for a good day, my puffer jacket...
another essential item, my pack filled with books, snacks and water
essential item #3: my sorels!
essential item #1 my ride!


My day almost always starts with snuggles, and this morning Annabelle really wanted some attention...

February 8th

I woke up today peaceful and thoughtful. What a luxury to spend an hour under my warm covers thinking reminscing and thinking about the future. How cozy to be the only one awake, listening to the sleepy breathing of my husband and the dogs, and of course the constant purring of Queen Annabelle. Silently reading some of my favorite blogs, reading about the blessings and trials of mommyhood, I wonder what I will be writing about my own children in the years to come. I ache for that time, for the time when I will have my own beautiful little gifts from God to cuddle, laugh and sometimes cry about. I try to imagine how it will be, all the while knowing that my wildest dreams won't even come close.
And now when my mind should be filled with the significant historical events of the Qing Dynasty, all I am filled with is awe at the beauty of the sky this morning and the fresh snow that for some reason reminds me of spring.

Snowy Friday and rediscovery...

Snow did not foil our plans to go to the zoo today. Instead we just bundled up, grabbed a sled and headed over there! I always think the zoo is better in the winter, the animals seem to be more active. Today we got there at opening time and found that the animals were all hungry and therefore excited for anyone to come near their enclosures. The wolverine and trio of Lynx all kept a very close eye on us as Kelsey, Corbin, Noah and I walked by them. It was amazing to see them not only active, but so close as well!

After the zoo we headed over to church to play with some preschool friends. Corbin and Noah loved it! They couldn't get enough of playing with "Pastor," "Teacher," and "Anna." After Kelsey dropped me off at home, I spent the next two hours throwing the turkey in the oven, making turkey broth for the gravy, and cooking all the various ingredients needed for making healthy food for my babies, Pepper and Beau. With a few hours left until the turkey would be done, I decided to search for some old Sierra games I used to love online. I found the original version of Mixed Up Mother Goose and downloaded it as well as the Dos download required to run it. It was weird how many memories were brought back with that game!

Now I'm sitting at the computer, trying to decide whether to start on a crochet project next, or to be responsible and get started on homework...I guess you all (assuming anyone actually reads this lol) will have to wait until later to find out which I chose!

Spontaneous Brewhouse dinner = awesome!

Had a great dinner tonight at the Brewhouse with a longtime friend, Rachel. It was great to catch up and to plan upcoming events and chances to hang out! One of the best ways to get through the long, dark winters in Alaska is to find a winter activity that you enjoy. One of my favorites is riding (snowmachining or snowmobiling to some). The male members of my family have long enjoyed the occasional or more regular weekend snowmachine trips, especially when my grandparents lived in Talkeetna aka snowmachine country. Now that I'm married to Steve the snowmachine fanatic, I've been drawn into the frenzy. It's crazy how addicting it is! Every weekend I can't wait to get out and find some perfect pow to shred, or at least attempt to shred lol. I'm still getting the hang of carving, boondocking ect. There's trailriding and then there's riding, and I'm finally bridging the gap and becoming a real rider. The crew Steve and I ride with are mostly friend from church who are also sledheads. Rachel's sister and her husband are out there every weekend enjoying the sun and snow, and Rachel tags along when she's not busy. My goal of late has been to encourage (or bully lol) her into going more often, my logic being the more girls the better! Snowmachine talk at dinner led us to the great idea of having a pre-riding spaghetti feed at her place one of these upcoming Fridays, at which we will watch various snowmachine movies, movies, pig out, and share stories of past rides. I can't wait!

Rain! My favorite...

Okay...so I just said that I would be going to sleep now on Facebook, but then I realized I hadn't updated my blog lately, and decided that sleep could wait.

The last week has been crazy. My sister bought a new house, and they closed on it Monday. This means this entire last week has been spent watching my adorable and unbelievably energetic nephew's, Corbin & Noah, while she painted, and painted, and painted and painted. Her husband had just happened to take on extra shifts, so he was gone literally 24 hours a day every day. Also, Steve is gone working...so I stayed at my parents to be closer to Kelsey's new place. I woke up whenever the boys did each day - usually 6 or 6:30, then played all day until 8:00pm when they went to sleep, then stayed up way too late because I wanted some time to my self. Add in there a sleepover with my little sister Beka and you've got one extremely tired girl on your hands!

But I do have to add one little detail...my sister bought tickets for her and I to go to Jewel's concert on Thursday! This was like a dream come true to me! Seriously, as dorky as that sounds...I have loved Jewel's music since I was eight years old and I got her Pieces of You album at k-mart as a "payment" for mowing the yard! I still have the original cd, although it is pretty scratched. But it has been listened to millions of times. I learned to love music by listening to that album. The concert was amazing! There were tons of Homer people there to support Atz Lee opening for his sis as well, so I saw lots of people I haven't seen for almost two years! Melissa Mitchell also opened...which was awesome because I've never seen her live. She has an amazing voice! It's always good when an artist sounds better in person than on their CD. Unfortunately most popular artists today don't. We got to our seats at about 7:45pm and were there until 12:15am. I have to say - Jewel lived up to my expectations - that was one of the best experiences ever! She has an amazing voice and great songwriting skills and I never heard Atz Lee sing when I lived in Homer, so it was pretty crazy to hear him - he can sing!

Today was spent going to church, relaxing and getting ready for school to start tomorrow...and I'll though I'm happy the week is over, I made many great memories.

Now it's off to bed for me - I have a feeling that I'm going to sleep like a baby. It's raining harder outside than I've ever seen it do in AK and I've lived here my entire life! xoxo

The Alaska Zoo...

So today after getting off work, sissy and I were trying to think of a good place to go hang out with the nephews in the extremely hot weather we were having .

First we thought of walking down to the 'goon (westchester lagoon, just down the street from my house), where we could search for the little ducklings and gosslings, but then decided to head on over to the zoo. I got a season's pass - which I am super excited about. This has sort of been the week of season pass/memberships...I just signed up for one at the Anchorage Museum too.

Upon arriving at the zoo, we had to make the usual first trip...to the bathroom. But then our fun afternoon quickly got underway. We saw all the animals, though many were snoozing in the afternoon heat. Corbin really loved looking in all the cages, but wasn't so sure about walking on the boardwalks. Noah was happily tagging along with me in the ergo. We saw the new little musk ox calf - born in June of this year; I think Kelsey was a little more interested in the fiber hanging off of the calf's mother though. All in all it turned out to be a pretty awesome day!