milestones can be painful

Today Riggs hit a milestone. 

It was one that I have not been looking forward to.

And it just came out of nowhere. 

He threw a huge fit in the middle of a store.

A screaming/growling/flailing fit.

I don't even know what started it.

One minute he was happily 'helping' me push the cart.

The next, he started crying.

I tried to make it better, asking him to tell me what he needed.

I picked him up, and he screamed louder.

I put him down, and he yelled and rolled around and hit the ground.

I tried again to ask him what was wrong.

Finally I realized that the answer was pretty obvious.

He needed to cry and scream and flail so that I'd realize that he needed to go home.

He was sick, tired and his teeth hurt, and the store was clearly too much for him.

Needless to say, there were lots of people staring at us.

Including a few who came from other aisles to see what the commotions was.

He sounded like he was dying.

But the thing is, I wasn't embarrassed. 

I wasn't going to change how I dealt with the situation to make

all the people in the store happy. 

I didn't care what they thought.

And it felt good not to care.

Too many times I worry about what people with think about my parenting decisions.

It's idle worry, because I know I'm doing a good job.

God put me in this role because he knew I would be the best mother for my child.

He guides me to parent Riggs the best way I see fit (and Steve too, of course).

I'm not perfect.

I'm always going to make mistakes and regret some decisions.

But I try so hard to do my best based on the information I have.

And I love my son so deeply.

It was a very hard day. Even when we got home the crying and tantrums didn't stop.

Poor baby couldn't go to sleep for his nap on his own, even though he was

so very tired. I rocked him and rubbed his sore gums and he finally drifted off.

He needed his mama today.

 I wish so badly that I could take on his pain,

that I could be sick for him,

that I could make teething not hurt, somehow.

But all I can do is comfort him through his suffering.

I'm so glad God gave me a perfect example of how to love.

And how to be there for someone through their suffering.

And every day, many times a day, I pray for him to lend me his strength.

To not lose my patience.

To speak kindly.

To love selflessly.

Luckily it's very easy to love this guy:

I hope you feel better tomorrow my sweet boy.

Mama loves you more than you'll ever know...