Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Facebook can really get you down somedays...


Does anybody else ever get really sick of Facebook sometimes? I have these crazy moments where I just feel like deleting mine. It's so so dumb, but I get sort of sad when people don't 'like' my posts/pictures, especially when they're of Riggs. I often read about how annoying it is to some people to see picture after picture of their friends kids on Facebook. I've even heard it called pathetic when that's all someone posts about. But every time I hear that, I wonder, why are they your friend then? If you don't want to see pictures of their life, why not unfriend them?

It's the word 'friend' that I think is the biggest misconception on Facebook. I have over 500 friends, yet I rarely have more than 10 people 'like' anything I post. So how does that work? Don't get me wrong, I'm not hoarding my likes and comments in some sort of social media popularity contest. It's not about getting the most likes for me. It's about people being excited about things I'm excited about. It's about people showing support and love for my precious child. It's about taking the less-than-one-second it takes to click the like button before continuing to scroll through your feed. It's about taking the less-than-one-minute it takes to type a short comment.

I know I've been guilty of the not-liking-or-commenting thing. Sometimes I scroll through my newsfeed in what I guess you could call a zombie-esq stupor where I might click on a photo and even think "How cute!" or "What is happening here?" or "That is so funny!" but I just go back to the feed and keep scrolling. I did this a lot especially before I had Riggs.

Once it was pictures of him I was sharing with my 'friends', I started to pay more attention to the pictures and posts my friends were posting. I saw their kids in a different light. I felt how proud they were when they shared a story about something special their child did that day. And I started making sure I clicked 'like' before moving onto the next post. I made sure to actually type out a comment instead of just making one mentally. Because I know how it brings a big smile to my face when someone leaves a comment for me. How connected it makes me feel to that person, that we shared a little tiny bit of our day through our online interaction.

I think it's so important, with all the distractions and busyness in our lives today, to make sure that some sort of connection happens. Even if you can't physically get together with your friends, make sure you reach out to them some other way. It doesn't have to be through Facebook. Send them a text if you think about them. Make a point to remember the things your friends might have going on and message them to ask how they're doing. To ask how that big appointment went. To see if their baby is finally sleeping again.

Think of how much it means to you when someone reaches out, and pass that good feeling on. And please don't think that I'm posting this so that you'll rush over to Facebook and 'like' everything I've posted lately. I'm sharing this to encourage other's who might feel the same way that I do at times. To remind them that you have to be a friend to have friends. And to also suggest that we be gentle with each other.

22 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Sounds like they arent true friends. I've always interpreted that behavior to mean certain people cant be happy for you, especially when you routinely show support for them.. I have only 200 friends (family, friends, internet friends, etc) and I routinely get a few dozen likes and a few comments on pics. Surround yourself with people who care about you and cull the rest.

    Nicky
    Www.awesomeville.co.uk

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  3. Sounds like they arent true friends. I've always interpreted that behavior to mean certain people cant be happy for you, especially when you routinely show support for them.. I have only 200 friends (family, friends, internet friends, etc) and I routinely get a few dozen likes and a few comments on pics. Surround yourself with people who care about you and cull the rest.

    Nicky
    Www.awesomeville.co.uk

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  4. This is such a lovely post and you are so very right. I too have this days when I´m really down because I do not get any or very little reactions on my pics or posts.
    I adore my babies more than anything else in the world and can not understand how somebody could just i g n o r e them. When I put some photos on Facebook and the other day just a few people liked them... and there were really lots of "friends" online who could have done the big little click.

    This is a hard thing about my blogger thing too. I know that my blog is not the most exciting one or fascinating for somebody who doesn´t "know" me. But as I was so incredibly busy this year and kept my online time as short as possible I had zero comments on most of my posts. Nevertheless I can not stop because I love making these memories for Max ans Lina. Hope they will love them someday.

    I simply LOVE your blog and check out every single word you write... and I´m so sorry that I hardly take the time to comment. But your words today made me think about this twice. I call you my alaskan friend and I will become better honey!

    Guess how cool this is when I tell my family or friends about you and sweet Riggy and tell them you are my friend from ALASKA. Believe me... this is totally cool... when you are from Austria, haha! (just to let you know... lots of people know you here and think you are beautiful, Riggs is so so cute and handsome and Steve is a good-looking man and very nice)

    Hope I made you smile, lovely Whitney (and thank you for stopping by and leaving comments from time to time on my posts)

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    1. You always make me smile Maxima! I think it's sad because we just forget to take the time to show people we care! :)

      Love you and your sweet babies so much! xoxo

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  6. What a great post! You are not alone on this subject! :)

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  7. Yikes, yea I have just over 1600 friends on FB... The result of being crazy involved in college and church. Sometimes I thin them out but have stopped doing that as much when I started blogging. I don't often post much there anymore- I use instagram more so and just use FB most of the time to refer to my blog. :) I don't know how someone would pass up commenting on a photo of Riggs!

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    1. Lena, that's exactly what I've just slowly been doing...not posting there really at all (mostly I post things on my blog facebook page now ha) and using instagram more.

      thank you, you are such a sweetie xoxo

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  8. Love you and your pics and blogs!

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  9. I feel the same way about good ol' FB. In fact, I did delete it once for over a year and I didn't miss it one bit! I also find myself getting upset with people for posting too many damn football updates, or complaining, or creating drama...you know what I mean? However it is a nice way to keep in touch with people, especially as a SAHM. Sigh. I feel ya.

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    1. yes all the complaining can really start to affect my mood! I've always tried really hard to only post positive updates, but now I just don't really post anything. I still love to keep up with long-distance friends via facebook - you're right, it's a great way to keep in touch. glad I'm not alone!

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  10. i recently deactivated my account for the second time - the first was last year for about 8 months. i was on it again for about 3 and it was totally stressing me out so i got rid of it. i had such a hard time with the "peanut gallery" aspect of FB. everybody trying to get their two cents in but not having a lot of substance. i was mainly on there again bc it's the one place i can see friends kids growing up and keep in touch with out of state friends but there wasn't enough of that going on to keep me. if i ever do go back, i think i will delete most of my 'friends' and just keep the ones that i talk to on the regular on there and not worry whether it's upsetting to the others. honestly, it felt like a weight off my chest to delete it and i don't miss it one bit!!

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    1. Jodi, I think I would feel the same way if I deleted mine, relived. But it is the only way I have to keep up with some of my friends, and so I just carryon and remember to spread the love myself!

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  11. I like this and I agree with your thoughts on making sure we make that effort to connect, even if it is just online. I'm going to try to be much more intentional about actually commenting on my friends' stuff because, you're right, it totally makes my day when someone takes the time to comment on mine. Thanks.

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    1. Glad you like this post, thanks Nancy! It is amazing how such a little gesture can make a difference in someones day:)

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  12. I don't have Facebook or else I would be your "friend". I do enjoy visiting here and seeing Alaska and hearing about your family's adventures with Riggs.

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  13. And your Aunt takes forever to even read this. Let me just tell you, there are NOT enough pictures of Riggs, you, Steve, or even Tutka and the chickens for me to ever think "too many". Not even close. Don't ever doubt it. I "LIKE" every one, even if I forget to like it.

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  14. I totally know what you mean. Actually, this is part of the reason I did delete my facebook (I've since signed up again). But mostly because I realised that I was sharing lots of things just to get the likes, and I wasn't sure that was the right thing.

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