Matters of the Heart

Sometimes life holds things we do not expect or anticipate at all.  This is a concept I am constantly trying to remember and struggle to embrace;  I am a planner, I like things to go the way they are planned.  This past week has been a case study in this concept for me, and maybe also a little reminder that I need to slow down and worry less.  What's strange is that regardless how many activities I'm actually doing, I'm almost always the same amount stressed.  I've been thinking a lot about that this week, as I've had the chance to see what that stress is doing to my body and mind.

Tuesday I began a whirlwind of medical visits and unanswered questions when my midwives informed me that I had an abnormal heartbeat that they wanted to have checked out, immediately.  My blood was drawn from both arms, and I was sent off with haste to the Alaska Heart Institute at Providence Hospital to get an EKG done.

I've included a picture to demonstrate what exactly is entailed in an EKG.  I was very nervous, for no reason at all other than the suddenness of everything.  After the test, I was told to go home, do nothing to raise my blood pressure, and go to the emergency room if I felt any new, uncomfortable symptoms.  

I received word from my midwives the next day:  my EKG results showed a problem as well, and they had scheduled an appointment with a cardiologist at the Heart Institute.  I was to have a full cardiac checkup with him, and once again I was left to worry and stress over it all.  What was wrong with me?  And more importantly in my mind, was any of this going to affect my baby?  Luckily the answer to that last question was no, the concern was 100% for me.  Apparently baby is like a little leech, getting everything first, and leaving mamma with the leftovers :).  

Long story short, I have to get more testing, in the form of an ultrasound of my heart tomorrow, and then I get to wear a chest harness monitor for the next 30 days.  But the good news is, the cardiologist told me he's not too worried, because I'm very healthy and my blood pressure was ideal.  Both he and the midwives mentioned that one of the main causes of heart issues like this is stress.  Which would make sense in my case, since being pregnant has sent my worrying tendencies into overdrive.  As a result, I have spent this down time reflecting on my problems being a stressed out, worrying person.  I've learned a few things from this ongoing ordeal, but what stands out the most is the need to take deep breaths, smile, and let things go.  So if you see me in the near future with my eyes closed and a forced smile on my face, that's what I'm doing. 

Hope it's a happy Monday for everyone :)