At nearly three months in, I find that we've really settled into life with two. It feels so natural, like it's always been. Both Steve and I are so very in love with Raina, and each day watching her little personality bloom further deepens our feelings for her. Riggs has handled the change like a champ, and he is even funnier and cheekier than he's ever been, if that's even possible.
Of course, some moments are hard. But they've gotten so much better that I'm already forgetting how it felt in the beginning. I look at my life and feel like pinching myself to make sure it's real. I was tearing up last night as I fed Raina a bottle (something I never did with Riggs), and Steve looked over and asked me what was wrong. I smiled up at him. "Of course I love breastfeeding. But it fulfills some deep twenty-something-year-old longing in me to feed her this way." He looked confused. "It's just that I vividly remember carefully holding my baby sister and giving her a bottle as my mom watched over us nearby. As a child I can't think of something I looked forward to more than the day when I would have my very own baby to cuddle and feed."
I don't think Steve really got it, but he shrugged and turned back to what he had been doing. As I sat there thinking about it, I was struck by how surreal it feels to truly be a mother now, not just to one, but to two babies. Two beautiful, happy, and healthy babies. And I'm so glad it's even better than I ever imagined; those two babies, how I love them so.