photo study: Riggs

Many times throughout the day, words and ideas and bits of stories fill my mind, and I let my imagination run free and wild.  A certain thought will come again and again, but often it just slips away after I fail miserably at my attempts to express it through words.  I love to write, especially with a good pen and some thinly lined paper, but so often I struggle with what I want to write versus what actually ends up on the paper.  

 I think the difficulty I have with the right words is why I love photography so much.  You can capture the world in so many ways and you can tell marvelous stories and you never have to use any words.  With the right light, maybe some subtle manipulation of your environment and a variety of angles you can make nearly anything beautiful - it's like a kind of magic.

This morning I relaxed on the couch and watched Riggs playing, as light flooded our home and our hearts.  I was filled with the strongest urge to get the camera out and take some pictures, and so I got up, adjusted the settings, and started snapping.  I captured as many details as I possible could, the soft lines of his face, the longer hairs here and there, the dimples and wrinkles and rolls, the toes and fingers and palms, the smiles and eyes and folds of his ears.  Relief began to wash over me in waves as I captured more and more of who Riggs was at that moment [12 months, 3weeks, 3days, 7hrs, and 44minutes].  

I was relieved by the knowledge that I would have these pictures to pull out and enjoy, to be able to bask in the beauty that was Riggs, on the cusp of childhood just graduating from babyhood.  I'm so thankful that there are pictures and videos just for memories sake.  But I know even now that the pictures will also create an ache in my heart, a deep yearning to reach out and touch that warm skin, that soft, downy hair, those pink lips, and to hold that busy little body in my arms once again.  Instead all I can do is hug and kiss him one more time now, and really relish in today - pushing aside thoughts of tomorrow until tomorrow actually comes.