Promise of Spring

Today started out pretty badly, I woke up in pain and unable to get comfortable.  Standing, sitting it didn't make any difference, my whole right sciatic nerve was just throbbing with stabbing pain.  Not only was I in pain, I was thoroughly frustrated with not being able to move without hurting badly.

Steve got me (and Riggs) set up in his comfy chair, tucked in with his cozy down sleeping bag and a full glass of water before he headed off to work, and we napped for about 40 minutes.  When I woke up to sharp pain in my pelvic area and the back of my leg, which turned to stabbing pain when I tried to move to get up, I just cried.  Riggs was fussing and needed his diaper changed and I could barely move.  I was miserable for the next two hours, crying in frustration more than once when pain got the better of me.

I had physical therapy later in the morning, and left there feeling a little bit better.  My physical therapist strongly recommended that I take some ibuprofen to keep the inflammation down, so I took some before I got in the car, desperate to get a little relief so I could take care of my son and get some chores done.  Luckily the ibuprofen took the edge off, and I felt only a dull ache for the next couple of hours.

But I was frustrated still, because I really don't feel comfortable taking too much of any medication while breast-feeding Riggs.  I couldn't help feeling that I was somehow failing him by choosing to take the ibuprofen instead of just dealing with the pain.

Somehow I managed to push those thoughts to the back of my mind and got some chores done while Riggs napped in his crib.  When he woke up, I bundled him up and we headed outside with Beau.  I would have loved to carry him in the ergo, but still felt a little too strained, so in the stroller he went.

I felt the tension slowly melt in the heat of the sun shining down on my face and shoulders.  As I walked I was reminded of memories, memories long buried under snow, of seasons filled with heat and sunshine and that smell...that fresh, earthy, calming smell of things warmed by the sun.

As I walked along, slowly along, I saw around me the promise of spring.  I saw it in the group of chickens, basking in the sliver of sunlight that made it into their coup.

I saw it in those newly uncovered objects, hidden for so long under the deep and silent layer of snow, and I thanked God for these signs of spring and for that beautiful sun beaming so beautifully in the sky above me.

Riggs observed quietly during the entire walk, looking out of his stroller with a wide, serious eyes that moved about slowly taking in the quickly changing landscape.  Our thoughts on the walk must have worn as both out, as I took to the couch to write this post as soon as we got home, and he quickly snuggled in to his blanket to take a cat nap, still warmed by the rays of sun flooding through our window.

What a beautiful world we are so blessed to live in and enjoy...I am filled with peace and in awe of our creator, the perfect architect of life, beauty and love.  I hope you had a blessed Monday as well with at least a few moments of peace.